Written By: Jodie WestermanSo the other day I was perusing through the countless archives of internet dating tips and stories written by self-proclaimed “experts” on love (God?) when I discovered one of the more shocking affronts to my youthful innocence.
“29 Reasons Not to be a Nice Guy”, by Ray Gordon, articulates an extremely in-depth (and disturbingly eloquent) analysis of the modern day player and how he gets what he ALLEGEDLY wants (sex with multiple hot chicks) without having to give them what they ALLEGEDLY want (money, prestige, and two-faced commitment because apparently, Ray and his Alt. Seduction Fast followers don’t believe that women would actually want a man who only wanted her).
This article, being only the beginning of a string of internet chat rooms and sites designed to provide support and advice to budding ASF’s and No-More-Mr.-Nice-Guys including but not limited to fastseduction.com, stylelife.com, and VH1’s infamous mysterymethod.com all share one fatal flaw – they assume all women are the same – and more to the point – all BEAUTIFUL women are EXACTLY the same.
Now I may not (or may – I’ll let you decide) be a “ten” (guys like to rate women from one to ten – with the sexiest “foxes” taking the higher end of the number scale), but I’ve never had trouble meeting great (and not so great) guys. Thus, I read on… curious to learn the tricks that have been played on me… and how best to avoid them. Funny thing is… NONE of these tactics even BEGIN to describe the ideal circumstances under which I’d like to meet a guy… yet countless men reported back success after implementing them… picking up multiple women in one night, pushing their sexual limits, and dumping them in the morning (or whenever they happen to tire of their sexual prize… because, according to Gordon… women are good for one thing only).
Below I’ve listed the player tactics used by ASF’s who no longer want to feel like an AFC (“A Frustrated Chump”). All of these strategies stem from the underlying assumption that all “foxes” are the same (save a few variables such as how much money they have and if they are a “secret slut” or not) and thus all women will respond pretty much the same way to their procured manipulation and deceit.
The following tactics are paraphrased so as to avoid plagiarism. They come from a variety of sources… the primary of which being Gordon’s “29 Reasons Not to be a Nice Guy”.
1. Understand that she is good for only one thing – and treat her that way.
The following tactics are paraphrased so as to avoid plagiarism. They come from a variety of sources… the primary of which being Gordon’s “29 Reasons Not to be a Nice Guy”.
1. Understand that she is good for only one thing – and treat her that way.
Ok whoa whoa whoa… let me get this straight. These guys think that if a girl likes a guy… she’ll be his willing, personal slut… no questions asked?! Hardly. And any guy touting like he wields this type of control is either a liar or an abuser (two things I know I personally don’t tolerate – and doubt any self respecting woman would, either).
So who, exactly, is this abusive player possessing? Not me, that’s for sure. And not my friends, either. Any woman who views her body as the “right price to pay” for something she wants is a slut or a prostitute. So congratulations to the ASF’s of the world… you are learning how to bag a slut (and all her diseases) while simultaneously scaring off the good girls who might actually like you for you!
2. Treat your soulmate like a slut.
2. Treat your soulmate like a slut.
Gordon writes, “A nice guy loses by pinning all of his hopes on one Fox, which she crushes with the predictability of the sunrise. The treat your soulmate like a slut rule is unfortunate, but necessary. Be a jerk who has ten Foxes and each will want you to choose her; be a nice guy who wants any one of the ten, and they each will consider you too clingy.”
Sadly, many women have given nice guys reason to feel betrayed. But the same can be said for nice girls who find themselves heartbroken and afraid to try again. Truth be told, we all get our hearts broken at one point or another. But that shouldn’t blind us from the countless successful relationships that manage to endure and prosper – producing families and happiness that simply wouldn’t have been possible without trust. Do the ASF’s of the world really believe they can be a player forever? Newsflash – there’s only one Hugh Heffner – and nobody likes him, they like his money.
3. Woo her with baby talk.
Ex)
Guy: Well hello there young lady.
Girl: Hello.
Guy: What’s your name?
Girl: Stacy.
Guy: Is Stacy having a good time tonight?
Guy: Stacy looks like she’s had a rough day. I bet Stacy wants to just go home, huh?
Girl: Yeah…
Ok, I’m sorry, ew. Referring to me in the third person is tolerable at best… and that’s if I’ve had my coffee and you happen to be my grandma. While 29 Reasons might profess you to be a “playful guy” with a “hidden agenda”… I see you as an annoying guy who I could quite frankly care less if they had an agenda or not because I’m already walking out the door…
4. Use the Changeup.
Here’s the example provided in the text…
Jerk: Hey baby… wanna [have sex]
Jerk: Hey hey hey! I was just kidding. I apologize. I don’t know what came over me. Give me a chance to prove I’m not like that.
Wow, I don’t know about you guys but I think the Changeup sounds like a good way to get pepper sprayed in the eye while simultaneously experiencing a nice long heel up the ***. In case you players forgot, we women DO have fathers who taught us all about the rapists and murderers of the world and we’re not about to gamble our safety on some horny bastard. You want to try a changeup? How about changing up your location so it’s at least one city away from me.
5. Use sex as a weapon.
Now this one really caught me off guard. Sex as a weapon?
Sure I get that all these wanna-be-players (think) they want is sex… but how can they use their own prize as a weapon?
The concept is simple… don’t buy any part of the cow until you get all the milk for free. That is… refuse to date/nurture/give the time of day to a woman who isn’t “respecting you” by putting out. Then, when they do, pull out before you have to pay your dues.
Brutal, huh? Yet surprisingly effective at ruling out the genuine girls and bagging the sluts/users/gold diggers of the world. Is that you? I doubt it. Nobody sees themselves that way and nobody should have to. Stand up for yourself and demand respect. Man or woman, your body is precious and should not be shared with someone who is trying to hurt you.
6. The neg.
Here’s something that was done to me on a very mild scale at a party about a year ago.
I’m dancing, having fun, and really minding my own business, when this tall-dark-and-handsome know-it-all dances up and escorts me off the floor. Right then and there I’m feeling aggravated. This guy just interrupted my fun… and my favorite Fergie song! But I’m polite… and listen to what he has to say.
He tells me his name is Jack, and he noticed me “from across the room” (guys love this sort of thing… beware of it because unless you’re 6’3” or part elephant – you’re probably blending into the crowd just fine).
Then he says… there are three things that make him want to get to know a person better. (1) They’re beautiful. (2) They’re outgoing (3) They’re comfortable with themselves.
He then proceeds to tell me that I have two of those things… but I’m missing one of them… and he’s not going to tell me which one.
Now I’ll admit. I was initially curious. Then I came to my senses. This guy didn’t know me at all! He had no authority to judge if I was outgoing OR comfortable with myself. So basically, he had either called me over there to tell me he didn’t find me attractive (highly doubtful considering he’s taken the time to talk to me in the first place) or he was playing some kind of mind game with me. Well, I don’t like being criticized, and I don’t like games. So I went back to the dance floor and told the chump to take a hike… later learning that he had indeed been trying his hand at the “neg”… a mild criticism used to push a Fox off her heels and (eventually) onto your bed.
Ok guys, these just don’t work. If a girl isn’t that into you, criticizing her isn’t going to change that. And if it does, she is likely psychologically damaged in some way. Do you want to hurt someone just to sleep with them? Are you really that big a jerk? I doubt it. But if you are… beware of the girls like me who will just as swiftly take you down.
There were countless other tactics revealed to me through Gordon’s article: but I’ve given you the basics. I urge you to comment/question/criticize this week’s article so we can develop an ongoing dialogue about these issues. All comments pertaining to last week’s article are promised to be addressed next week… so definitely keep checking back!
Thank you to my readers and best wishes to you all…
Jodie
